June 12, 2026
When Bipolar Gets Harder: Cycling, Rage, and the Partner Who Stays
Some days they're the person you fell in love with. Other days, you don't recognize them at all. In this episode, we talk honestly about how bipolar disorder can worsen over time — more frequent cycles, sharper mood swings, and the emotional whiplash of living with someone who can be furious one moment and loving the next. If you've been wondering whether it ever gets better, or whether the patterns you're seeing are part of the illness itself, this episode is for you
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Hello everyone, good morning or
night.
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00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,080
Where are you from?
I again I'm just going to say I
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00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:09,640
was married for 10 years to a
bipolar one wife that I still
4
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:15,520
desperately love.
I've been gone a year and it
5
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,480
certainly got better, but it's
certainly not easy every day.
6
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:25,080
I wanted to talk today about how
they devalue you and you don't
7
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,920
even notice it when you're
living in it.
8
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,160
The devaluation is I'm just
going to tell you about my
9
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,960
experience.
Every person is different, of
10
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:37,440
course, but I noticed number
one, about five years ago, my
11
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:42,200
wife had what's called ATIA
stroke with a mini stroke.
12
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,200
I tried to get her to the to the
doctors at night and when it
13
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,160
happened and she refused,
wouldn't do it.
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00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:54,520
We went the next day when she
was still having trouble
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00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,440
talking.
She didn't have any muscle loss
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00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:02,840
but trouble talking anyway after
that because it was so long.
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00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,800
I I now I'm pretty sure she had
brain damage from not going
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00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,160
immediately.
Because if anybody knows when
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00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,160
there's any stroke symptoms, you
have 3 to 4 hours to get there.
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00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,280
What I'm getting to is, is that
after that, my wife literally
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for me lost all her empathy.
She just couldn't be empathetic.
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00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,480
She could not put herself in my
shoes.
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00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,320
The emotional affair, irritating
fights, whatever the hell
24
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,880
happened, it was always my
fault.
25
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:36,320
You'll read that extensively,
and if that hits with you, you
26
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:40,880
know it immediately.
It's sad, but she the Prior to
27
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,000
that, her and I were a
partnership.
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00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,800
We were always there for each
other.
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00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:50,640
After that, it was still a
partnership as long as I didn't
30
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,840
piss her off.
That's the crazy part, and the
31
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,880
other crazy part is if you're a
normal human being and you're
32
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,800
married to somebody that you
love, the absolute worst thing
33
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,520
that you want to happen is
something happening to your
34
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,919
spouse that hurts them.
Especially if you're the 1
35
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,200
causing it.
You don't want to hurt your
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00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,760
spouse and you'll do anything
not to.
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00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,560
She just didn't care after that,
it just didn't matter.
38
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:24,800
It's called splitting if you've
never heard of it, but that's
39
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,880
why.
They can go from nice and great
40
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,800
with you, but if you challenge
them or you criticize them the
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00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,200
wrong way, they'll burn you to
the ground.
42
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,080
They'll literally try to destroy
your life and then the next day
43
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,800
it's like nothing happened.
If you try to bring it up,
44
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,720
they'll say that was in the
past.
45
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,520
Why can't you get over it?
They can't put themselves in
46
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,240
your shoes and you need to
realize that.
47
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,840
I know there's some stories that
are success stories.
48
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,800
All of them are the same.
Look at my podcasts regarding
49
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,000
that.
But it's very central.
50
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,640
The central theme is if they're
going to be halfway decent, to
51
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:09,200
be married to for me is 1
hypercritical thing,
52
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:13,160
self-awareness.
They have to be able to see how
53
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,320
they're hurting you and if
they're older and gone through
54
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,600
different manic cycles, they
literally can't see it.
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I know it doesn't make any sense
you're going.
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How the hell can they not see
that?
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This affair is destroying me,
but their brain has shut off at
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00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,920
some point.
I've heard other people talk
59
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:36,640
about this in research papers
that when they go manic and do
60
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:41,840
the hyper whatever over and over
again, they're physically unable
61
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,160
to feel your feelings.
They're physically unable to see
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00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,840
how they hurt you.
And so you thinking that somehow
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00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,760
they're going to come back and
be great.
64
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,360
At baseline you do see some
stories like that.
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00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:58,720
Generally they're much younger.
The ones I see over and over
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00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:03,720
again are the people that were
married 5101520 even 30 years
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00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,520
where they were relatively good
and then all of a sudden
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00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:13,600
overnight they're in bed with a
felon or they ran off with a
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felon and they're living with
them and they're madly in love
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with them and you're nothing
after 20 years.
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I can't imagine.
Mine was 10 years, but after 20
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years, something like that
happened.
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And then once that deadbeat
person, the other person flames
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00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,800
out, leaves or gets thrown to
jail again, guess where they go?
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They go right back to you and
they're going to say and do
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whatever it takes for you to
take them back.
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They'll promise you the moon,
they'll promise everything, and
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guess what?
You're going to be right back in
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the cycle again.
True.
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Once again, you'll see every
once in a while somebody say,
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oh, no, he came back and we've
been great for the last three or
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four years.
All I'm trying to say is, which
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I've said as a central theme
over and over again, these
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00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:06,280
people are the most kind, loving
people I've ever run into, but
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they're also the cruelest.
And for you as a normal person
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00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,160
with a normal emotional
structure and brain structure,
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it will destroy you.
I'm sorry it destroyed me.
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I'm I'm 65 years old.
I've never been in a psychiatric
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hospital, never even come close
to it.
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And believe me, I've had enough
women burn my heart down to the
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ground.
Don't get me wrong.
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OK?
After this one I got committed
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to a freaking psych hospital for
a week.
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Yes I was in there for the nut
jobs.
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They medicated me so much for
that week to try to let my brain
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slow down.
I can't believe I went through
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that.
The worst part about it all was
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00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,840
the horrible impact it had on my
son.
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He was petrified of me being in
that psychiatric hospital.
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Just petrified.
So you don't just hurt yourself,
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you hurt your kids, you hurt
your family by staying.
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Understand something, it doesn't
get better.
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I'm sorry, my experience and
what I've seen over and over
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again.
They don't get better as they
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old get older.
I hear this every once in a
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while.
They get mellower as they age.
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That's only if they're perfect
with their meds, Perfect with a
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psychiatrist and had you
involved from day one.
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Involved in everything including
taking their medicine every day.
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If they screw up, literally, you
could be married to somebody for
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20 years and if they miss their
medicine for three days, for
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00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,200
instance, you go on a vacation
and they forget their meds.
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They may or may not know if they
forgot or not, but whatever.
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They forget those meds for three
or four days, they literally can
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blow up your life right then and
be done and never look back.
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And if you think I'm stupid, I
love you, man.
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I do, but I'm not stupid.
This shit happens.
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You have to be aware of that.
And if you've got kids, come on.
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00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,880
I can't tell you how many people
I've read that said if I could
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00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,680
do this over again, I'd never be
with my husband or wife.
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But I got kids and I got to keep
them or they're financially
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trapped because they couldn't
get a way out.
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Understand something.
You can have the empathy and
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everything else with these
people.
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Hell, I went to the podiatrist
yesterday.
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I can't tell you how many
people, and I very reluctantly
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talk about it.
I mentioned briefly that I was
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just a year out from my bipolar
one wife of 10 years.
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This guy piped up, unbelievable.
He said I just got out of mine
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00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,480
for two years ago.
He was married 29 years and he
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said exactly that.
He said we were relatively happy
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and then she blew up, Started
manipulating me, controlling me.
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Angry, raging, sweetness,
kindness, rage, controlling.
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Has no idea of what empathy is.
People, this stuff doesn't get
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better.
I'm so sorry.
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I know they're the love of your
life.
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You spent every waking day with
them for years and it's
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00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,440
relatively good.
In fact, sometimes it's freaking
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00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:18,440
great and then they go manic,
cheat on you, move in with
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00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,920
somebody else, and they're gone.
That is not an unrealistic or
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uncommon thing.
This happens.
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Please, the number one thing, if
you're still in the
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relationship, you have to take
care of yourself because what
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you do is you end up like I did,
isolating yourself because of
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all the trauma.
And what does that create?
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Codependency.
Codependency makes it worse for
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you so have make sure and get
out and make your friends.
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And by the way, if you make
friends outside of the marriage,
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they'll probably try to destroy
those because that is a risk for
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them.
They want you completely
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dependent on them because they
don't ever want you to leave.
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00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,640
Hang in there people, I love
you.
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00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,800
Thank you for listening.
Please do me a favor if you like
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00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,440
this and gotten this far just
leave me a review to say yes you
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00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,000
like it because I'm really
trying.
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I don't always put stuff up
every day because it's too hard
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00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,200
for me.
I just end up crying all the
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time but take care.
Thank you.
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00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:22,040
Bye.
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,960
Hello everyone, good morning or
night.
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,080
Where are you from?
I again I'm just going to say I
3
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:09,640
was married for 10 years to a
bipolar one wife that I still
4
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:15,520
desperately love.
I've been gone a year and it
5
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,480
certainly got better, but it's
certainly not easy every day.
6
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:25,080
I wanted to talk today about how
they devalue you and you don't
7
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,920
even notice it when you're
living in it.
8
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,160
The devaluation is I'm just
going to tell you about my
9
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,960
experience.
Every person is different, of
10
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:37,440
course, but I noticed number
one, about five years ago, my
11
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:42,200
wife had what's called ATIA
stroke with a mini stroke.
12
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,200
I tried to get her to the to the
doctors at night and when it
13
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,160
happened and she refused,
wouldn't do it.
14
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:54,520
We went the next day when she
was still having trouble
15
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,440
talking.
She didn't have any muscle loss
16
00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:02,840
but trouble talking anyway after
that because it was so long.
17
00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,800
I I now I'm pretty sure she had
brain damage from not going
18
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,160
immediately.
Because if anybody knows when
19
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,160
there's any stroke symptoms, you
have 3 to 4 hours to get there.
20
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,280
What I'm getting to is, is that
after that, my wife literally
21
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:21,080
for me lost all her empathy.
She just couldn't be empathetic.
22
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,480
She could not put herself in my
shoes.
23
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,320
The emotional affair, irritating
fights, whatever the hell
24
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,880
happened, it was always my
fault.
25
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:36,320
You'll read that extensively,
and if that hits with you, you
26
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:40,880
know it immediately.
It's sad, but she the Prior to
27
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,000
that, her and I were a
partnership.
28
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,800
We were always there for each
other.
29
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:50,640
After that, it was still a
partnership as long as I didn't
30
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,840
piss her off.
That's the crazy part, and the
31
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:58,880
other crazy part is if you're a
normal human being and you're
32
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:02,800
married to somebody that you
love, the absolute worst thing
33
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,520
that you want to happen is
something happening to your
34
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,919
spouse that hurts them.
Especially if you're the 1
35
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,200
causing it.
You don't want to hurt your
36
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,760
spouse and you'll do anything
not to.
37
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,560
She just didn't care after that,
it just didn't matter.
38
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:24,800
It's called splitting if you've
never heard of it, but that's
39
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,880
why.
They can go from nice and great
40
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,800
with you, but if you challenge
them or you criticize them the
41
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,200
wrong way, they'll burn you to
the ground.
42
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,080
They'll literally try to destroy
your life and then the next day
43
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,800
it's like nothing happened.
If you try to bring it up,
44
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,720
they'll say that was in the
past.
45
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,520
Why can't you get over it?
They can't put themselves in
46
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,240
your shoes and you need to
realize that.
47
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,840
I know there's some stories that
are success stories.
48
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,800
All of them are the same.
Look at my podcasts regarding
49
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,000
that.
But it's very central.
50
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,640
The central theme is if they're
going to be halfway decent, to
51
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:09,200
be married to for me is 1
hypercritical thing,
52
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:13,160
self-awareness.
They have to be able to see how
53
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:17,320
they're hurting you and if
they're older and gone through
54
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,600
different manic cycles, they
literally can't see it.
55
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,280
I know it doesn't make any sense
you're going.
56
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,440
How the hell can they not see
that?
57
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:30,080
This affair is destroying me,
but their brain has shut off at
58
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,920
some point.
I've heard other people talk
59
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:36,640
about this in research papers
that when they go manic and do
60
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:41,840
the hyper whatever over and over
again, they're physically unable
61
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,160
to feel your feelings.
They're physically unable to see
62
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,840
how they hurt you.
And so you thinking that somehow
63
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,760
they're going to come back and
be great.
64
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,360
At baseline you do see some
stories like that.
65
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:58,720
Generally they're much younger.
The ones I see over and over
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again are the people that were
married 5101520 even 30 years
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where they were relatively good
and then all of a sudden
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overnight they're in bed with a
felon or they ran off with a
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felon and they're living with
them and they're madly in love
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with them and you're nothing
after 20 years.
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I can't imagine.
Mine was 10 years, but after 20
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years, something like that
happened.
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And then once that deadbeat
person, the other person flames
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out, leaves or gets thrown to
jail again, guess where they go?
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They go right back to you and
they're going to say and do
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whatever it takes for you to
take them back.
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They'll promise you the moon,
they'll promise everything, and
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guess what?
You're going to be right back in
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the cycle again.
True.
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Once again, you'll see every
once in a while somebody say,
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oh, no, he came back and we've
been great for the last three or
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four years.
All I'm trying to say is, which
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I've said as a central theme
over and over again, these
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people are the most kind, loving
people I've ever run into, but
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they're also the cruelest.
And for you as a normal person
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with a normal emotional
structure and brain structure,
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it will destroy you.
I'm sorry it destroyed me.
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I'm I'm 65 years old.
I've never been in a psychiatric
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hospital, never even come close
to it.
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And believe me, I've had enough
women burn my heart down to the
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ground.
Don't get me wrong.
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OK?
After this one I got committed
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to a freaking psych hospital for
a week.
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Yes I was in there for the nut
jobs.
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They medicated me so much for
that week to try to let my brain
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slow down.
I can't believe I went through
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that.
The worst part about it all was
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the horrible impact it had on my
son.
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He was petrified of me being in
that psychiatric hospital.
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Just petrified.
So you don't just hurt yourself,
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you hurt your kids, you hurt
your family by staying.
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00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,960
Understand something, it doesn't
get better.
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I'm sorry, my experience and
what I've seen over and over
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00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,680
again.
They don't get better as they
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old get older.
I hear this every once in a
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while.
They get mellower as they age.
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That's only if they're perfect
with their meds, Perfect with a
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psychiatrist and had you
involved from day one.
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Involved in everything including
taking their medicine every day.
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If they screw up, literally, you
could be married to somebody for
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20 years and if they miss their
medicine for three days, for
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instance, you go on a vacation
and they forget their meds.
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They may or may not know if they
forgot or not, but whatever.
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They forget those meds for three
or four days, they literally can
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blow up your life right then and
be done and never look back.
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And if you think I'm stupid, I
love you, man.
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I do, but I'm not stupid.
This shit happens.
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You have to be aware of that.
And if you've got kids, come on.
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I can't tell you how many people
I've read that said if I could
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00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,680
do this over again, I'd never be
with my husband or wife.
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But I got kids and I got to keep
them or they're financially
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trapped because they couldn't
get a way out.
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00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,640
Understand something.
You can have the empathy and
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everything else with these
people.
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Hell, I went to the podiatrist
yesterday.
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I can't tell you how many
people, and I very reluctantly
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talk about it.
I mentioned briefly that I was
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just a year out from my bipolar
one wife of 10 years.
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This guy piped up, unbelievable.
He said I just got out of mine
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for two years ago.
He was married 29 years and he
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00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,680
said exactly that.
He said we were relatively happy
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and then she blew up, Started
manipulating me, controlling me.
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Angry, raging, sweetness,
kindness, rage, controlling.
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00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:02,880
Has no idea of what empathy is.
People, this stuff doesn't get
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better.
I'm so sorry.
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00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,320
I know they're the love of your
life.
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00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:11,720
You spent every waking day with
them for years and it's
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00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,440
relatively good.
In fact, sometimes it's freaking
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00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:18,440
great and then they go manic,
cheat on you, move in with
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00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,920
somebody else, and they're gone.
That is not an unrealistic or
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00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,000
uncommon thing.
This happens.
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Please, the number one thing, if
you're still in the
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00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,560
relationship, you have to take
care of yourself because what
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00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:36,200
you do is you end up like I did,
isolating yourself because of
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00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,960
all the trauma.
And what does that create?
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00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,240
Codependency.
Codependency makes it worse for
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00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:46,720
you so have make sure and get
out and make your friends.
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And by the way, if you make
friends outside of the marriage,
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they'll probably try to destroy
those because that is a risk for
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them.
They want you completely
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dependent on them because they
don't ever want you to leave.
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Hang in there people, I love
you.
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00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,800
Thank you for listening.
Please do me a favor if you like
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00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:10,440
this and gotten this far just
leave me a review to say yes you
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00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,000
like it because I'm really
trying.
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00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,440
I don't always put stuff up
every day because it's too hard
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00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:18,200
for me.
I just end up crying all the
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00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,320
time but take care.
Thank you.
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Bye.