The Real Reason They Won't Apologize | Bipolar, Control & Inner Chaos"

0:00 Hello everyone, I'm going to talk today about accountability. This is a huge subject, quite frankly, and I'm going to give my my take on what it is and the complete lack thereof. And with my experience and my beautiful wife in the 10 years I've spent with her, the accountability, it seems like at least mine could never apologize. I never really understood it while I was in it, to be honest with you. I, I'm of the attitude, I kind of just blew it off. I didn't think about it. I know we would have fights. It seemed like to me a lot of them were my fault. If you can relate to that, I don't know. All I know is I do believe I understand to some degree why they don't take accountability.

0:47 Because if you understand, and I again, this is my perspective, they have extremely low self esteem. I can tell you my wife for instance, she's in her mid 60s, She's got a better body than an 18 year old. The perfect smile, everything's perfect. Now I kind of understand that when they're perfect, that means something else is off. I would tell her all the time, she looked beautiful all the time and her response was always the same. I'm glad you think so. I think they suffer from extreme sense of self esteem issues and self-confidence. I did everything I could to build up but at the same time if you're like me, you build up resentment too. It's such a weird Rd. because even from the very start, I mean you get hammered on, you get thrown abused verbally, they do weird stuff that's awful when they're manic. And then after they're done with that, they expect you to be fine and treat them the same and be very loving and sweet. Yet you have resentment because you were just trashed. If you can relate to this boy, I've been there a million times. And I also want to address the the accountability issue with control because as we got later on in the relationship, one thing I've really noticed, especially since I left again, was she had to be in control.

2:16 She had to control the the surroundings. For instance, law and order SUV, I've seen every single episode many times. Little House on the Prairie, I've seen every episode multiple times. And I scratched my head back then. Why the hell? Well, they need to control their environment because they can't control their brain that this resonates. At least it does for me. It that makes sense, if they can control their surroundings, they can create some kind of peace because of the chaos in their minds driving them nuts. So they get more controlling than they get more irritable. This is somebody.

2:58 Mine was medicated, I believe. I didn't, I didn't make it my joint, my mission. Didn't make sure she took her meds everyday. She did take meds, I think. I don't think she went to a psychiatrist very often, which was critical, but she wouldn't let me get involved in any of that stuff. At the first she did, but later on she didn't, and she became more and more controlling, sweet and nice to some degree, but it was her way or the highway. Now, are women over all that way? It's hard to distinguish between that. I mean a woman will love to control your ass if you allow it and when you start going up against it maybe there's problems. I'm I'm no relationship expert.

3:42 Jesus. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus or whatever the hell. That book was 100% right. I'll never figure them out, but I can tell you just my experiences with a bipolar person because she and the public, of course, she was great. I mean, we've all talked about that and we all know that. But that accountability issue, the absolute inability to apologize and they have to be controlling. All of this relates to to whenever they either discard you or when I left her, her, she went no contact with me immediately. I actually tried to get back together with her, which I knew I probably would, and I did some things to make sure I couldn't get back together with her.

4:25 If you want to ask me in print, you know, in private, you can certainly do that. But her not contacting me or ignoring all of my emails, I know from everything I've read to that helped her feel more in control. That was, oh, this guy's begging. He really messed up. He really wants to get back together with me. That made her feel great because it's controlling and she did not have to face accountability of throwing me out of the house when you're in a wheelchair and newly paralyzed that she could not. And yes, anyway, whatever. I'm not going to go into more details. What I'm trying to get to is the accountability and stuff. Once you all break up or whatever, if you really want them back, the worst thing you can do is try to contact them or e-mail them.

5:15 That's the worst thing you can do mine be honest with you. I knew what was going to happen. I, I emailed her a lot. I emailed her all the time. She never responded. One time she responded when she was threatening that my the mother of my kids. I mean, that's over the top, but that's controlling. They control because they that's the only thing they can control. They control how they can look and they can control trying to control other people. I was just trying to be nice. But anyway, it is what it is. I'm just saying, you know, if you've been discarded, I'm so sorry. If you want him back, I'm going to say it straight up. Don't do it.

5:58 You don't even think about going back with them. You're in a trauma bond, which has been linked to heroin addiction or a heavy addiction. I've lived this, so I can tell you that. Never been addicted to drugs, but I was addicted to her at the end, especially after becoming paralyzed. I was extremely codependent on her. Why? I couldn't leave the house. I was in a freaking wheelchair. I couldn't go anywhere and guess what, she used it to her advantage when she was pissed at the first, she was nice. I'm just saying hang in there, it'll be OK. But my my thesis once again on what I'm talking about is accountability and control because their mind is such chaos. Hang in there people love you.

6:45 Take care. Bye.