July 16, 2026
Nobody Understands This: The Hidden Reality of Bipolar Relationship
If you've ever loved someone with bipolar disorder, you've probably heard the same advice over and over: "Just move on." "Quit looking back." "Get over it." The problem is, those words usually come from people who have never lived through the chaos, trauma, grief, hope, and heartbreak that bipolar disorder can bring into a relationship.
In this episode of The Other Side of Bipolar, I talk about the profound loneliness that caregivers and partners experience. Why is it so hard to find someone who truly understands? Why do so many therapists struggle to grasp the unique emotional roller coaster of loving someone with bipolar disorder? And why do well-meaning friends often make you feel even more isolated?
If you've ever felt like you're carrying this burden alone, this episode is for you. Sometimes the greatest comfort isn't being given advice—it's finally hearing someone say, "I understand, because I've been there."
Keywords: bipolar disorder, bipolar relationships, bipolar spouse, caregiver support, loving someone with bipolar disorder, bipolar marriage, bipolar recovery, mental illness relationships, caregiver trauma, emotional abuse, bipolar podcast, bipolar education, mental health podcast, The Other Side of Bipolar.
1
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:05,840
Hi everybody, this is me again.
I wanted to talk today about
2
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,360
something really dear to my
heart, and that is the fact that
3
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:14,040
nobody understands where we're
coming from and nobody
4
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,960
understands what we've been
through.
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,120
You.
If you have not lived with or
6
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:24,480
experienced life with a bipolar
person, you have no idea what
7
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,520
we're going through.
Family doesn't understand it.
8
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,400
I don't even think most
therapists understand it.
9
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,160
I didn't understand it until I
got out of it to be honest with
10
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,840
you.
I thought it was just.
11
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,000
I didn't know what the hell it
was to be honest with you.
12
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,160
Again, I've said this before.
I was told they were.
13
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,960
My spouse was manic depressive,
but that's just not true.
14
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,320
Manic depressive was what it was
called 30 years ago.
15
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:55,080
Bipolar 1 was psychosis, but how
much all of us desperately need
16
00:00:55,080 --> 00:01:01,240
validation when you've been gas
lit and manipulated and then you
17
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,560
and I both know they don't
necessarily mean it.
18
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:09,000
They mean it at the time because
of the disease, but the sweet
19
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:15,760
person does not mean it.
And that's what's so hard for
20
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,360
anybody to understand.
I guarantee if you're listening
21
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,880
to me right now, you know what
I'm talking about because we're
22
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,840
the only ones that understand
it.
23
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:30,560
How many times my wife was sweet
and nice and awesome and then
24
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,440
when something came up that she
may have been guilty of, I don't
25
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,280
know, she couldn't.
She couldn't be accountable.
26
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,760
She would gaslight the shit out
of me.
27
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:45,080
She would go to her friends and
recruit them to make me
28
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,800
absolutely know that my reality
was not true when the reality
29
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:55,840
was it was true that my reality
had been, how can I put it?
30
00:01:55,840 --> 00:02:00,240
My reality had been warped is a
good word.
31
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,080
I mean, when when you look at
somebody and know that they're
32
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,800
cheating, know that they're
emotionally cheating, know for a
33
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,280
fact, and then you're proven
wrong by her friends.
34
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,280
You just shake your head and you
go, what the what the hell did I
35
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,800
just go through?
And then you go to another day
36
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,400
and you forget about it, but
your body doesn't and your mind
37
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,920
doesn't.
And then once you get out, or if
38
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:28,320
you try to talk to a friend,
which I did, they don't
39
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,520
understand.
And God forbid if you leave the
40
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,200
relationship and you tell
somebody you know two or three
41
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,920
months later that you're still
crying every day, or one year
42
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:42,640
later or two years later still
crying every day.
43
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,800
They go, what the Hell's wrong
with you?
44
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,800
My God, move on.
Get over it.
45
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,880
You know, man up or woman up.
They don't understand.
46
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,800
That's one of the most crippling
things for me at least, is my
47
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:01,680
son has been an absolute
incredible person with me, but I
48
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,520
can't talk to him anymore.
I've been gone a year and almost
49
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,480
two months.
I can't talk to him.
50
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,120
I can't even tell him about how
I'm feeling anymore.
51
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:15,120
Not because he's incredibly
loving and sweet and kind to me.
52
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,960
It's because I know he doesn't
understand it.
53
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,440
I mean, it's a breakup to
everybody else in the world for
54
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:26,240
you and me, it's it's
catastrophic is a word I use
55
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,920
that really is good for that.
I'm sorry.
56
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:32,520
I'm talking in a down voice.
I'm actually at his house right
57
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,000
now and I don't want anybody
else listening to what I'm
58
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:39,960
saying.
But it's it for me, and I just
59
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:45,000
want to validate your feelings
that if you went off on them
60
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:50,040
when they ever got angry and
with them, all of us do.
61
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,240
But the gas lighting for me, I'd
never lived through that before
62
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,720
with a relationship.
I mean, I'm not going to say how
63
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,000
old I am, but believe me, I've
been through a few
64
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,600
relationships.
Nobody's gas let the crap out of
65
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,400
me like this deal.
I didn't even really understood
66
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,840
what gaslighting was.
Manipulation, you know, the
67
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,640
absolute lack of accountability
when it's staring you in the
68
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,920
face when things would happen.
And I tried to explain to her
69
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,640
what's going on and they don't
get it.
70
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,760
They don't understand it.
It's so then they turned around,
71
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,640
gaslight you, and all of a
sudden you're going.
72
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,880
Am I the one with bipolar?
Do I have these problems?
73
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,280
What the Hell's going on?
I used to be normal.
74
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,320
Have I all of a sudden gone off
the deep end?
75
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:45,240
It's just so hard.
I'm sorry.
76
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,240
It's just so hard because nobody
gets it.
77
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,600
And I wish we could talk about
it.
78
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:55,320
You know, I've often wondered if
I shouldn't, I shouldn't have
79
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:59,440
some kind of program to talk to
people actually one-on-one.
80
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,520
I guess I could if you're
interested, I'd be more than
81
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,040
glad to talk to people
one-on-one.
82
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,400
I'm not, you know, I've had
other people tell me I should
83
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:13,200
try to monetize this stuff.
I'm, I'm not, I'm doing this
84
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,400
from my own therapy.
And I have heard from people on
85
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,440
this platform that that helps
them because we all need this
86
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,240
validation.
And where the hell does a
87
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,000
validation come from?
If you can't talk to your
88
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,160
friends, you can't talk to your
family, or you can just mention
89
00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:30,880
they had a mental illness and
then they go, well, you need to
90
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,720
go ahead and get over it.
You know, don't look back, just
91
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,560
look forward.
What the am I supposed to do
92
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,400
about that?
What am I supposed to do about a
93
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,640
woman that was the most
incredibly living woman I've
94
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:47,040
ever met who the next day could
burn me down and literally walk
95
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,440
away?
How do you explain that to
96
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,880
anybody?
How do you explain that as
97
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:56,680
you're sitting here a year later
and you're having a great day
98
00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,880
and somebody comes, something
comes up on the TV or a memory
99
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,400
hits you and you instantly start
crying?
100
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:09,560
That's called trauma.
That's called PTSD or CPTSD now.
101
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:15,360
It's continual, whatever it is,
PTSD, I don't know all these
102
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,880
freaking terms.
All I know is I've been through
103
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,080
it because I've literally been
sitting here on numerous
104
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,600
occasions sitting around and
boom, I just start crying.
105
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,920
Thank God I'm alone.
I can't do it in public.
106
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,440
I just can't.
It's too embarrassing.
107
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:40,920
So if you're, if you can relate
to this, if I'm helping you, I
108
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:45,240
really appreciate it.
I, I appreciate knowing that
109
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:50,560
you're, I'm helping other people
because I've read so much and
110
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:55,640
but nobody talks about it.
Hang your head up high.
111
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,880
Understand what we're going
through is not normal.
112
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:05,200
Nobody gets it and they won't
unless you talk to another
113
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,560
person that's lived with
somebody bipolar.
114
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,120
And how the hell do you know?
Nobody wants to admit it.
115
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:16,320
Do I want to admit the fact that
after my wife moved in with me
116
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:21,720
that it was pure and mitigated
chaos within three or four
117
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,640
months, which instantly traps
you into the trauma bond, which
118
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,160
they say a trauma bond is the
liken to be being addicted to
119
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,240
heroin.
God, all this shit.
120
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,280
I wish I didn't know.
And I guarantee you wish you
121
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,480
didn't know, but hold your head
up high.
122
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,560
It does get better.
You're validated.
123
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,680
I'm sorry.
I'm not the one with bipolar.
124
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:47,720
And how do you feel sorry for
somebody that tortures you?
125
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,840
Where the hell?
Where the Hell's that?
126
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,280
In the history books, the
psychology books?
127
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:58,280
I just can't read that crap.
I feel so sorry for her and I
128
00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,960
feel so guilty.
And at the same time, she
129
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,560
tortured me.
Those things don't coexist, but
130
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,240
they do.
With this, I love everybody.
131
00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,400
You take care.
I hope I help somebody.
132
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:11,440
Bye.
00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:05,840
Hi everybody, this is me again.
I wanted to talk today about
2
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,360
something really dear to my
heart, and that is the fact that
3
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:14,040
nobody understands where we're
coming from and nobody
4
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,960
understands what we've been
through.
5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,120
You.
If you have not lived with or
6
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:24,480
experienced life with a bipolar
person, you have no idea what
7
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,520
we're going through.
Family doesn't understand it.
8
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,400
I don't even think most
therapists understand it.
9
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,160
I didn't understand it until I
got out of it to be honest with
10
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,840
you.
I thought it was just.
11
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,000
I didn't know what the hell it
was to be honest with you.
12
00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,160
Again, I've said this before.
I was told they were.
13
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,960
My spouse was manic depressive,
but that's just not true.
14
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,320
Manic depressive was what it was
called 30 years ago.
15
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:55,080
Bipolar 1 was psychosis, but how
much all of us desperately need
16
00:00:55,080 --> 00:01:01,240
validation when you've been gas
lit and manipulated and then you
17
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,560
and I both know they don't
necessarily mean it.
18
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:09,000
They mean it at the time because
of the disease, but the sweet
19
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:15,760
person does not mean it.
And that's what's so hard for
20
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,360
anybody to understand.
I guarantee if you're listening
21
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,880
to me right now, you know what
I'm talking about because we're
22
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,840
the only ones that understand
it.
23
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:30,560
How many times my wife was sweet
and nice and awesome and then
24
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,440
when something came up that she
may have been guilty of, I don't
25
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,280
know, she couldn't.
She couldn't be accountable.
26
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,760
She would gaslight the shit out
of me.
27
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:45,080
She would go to her friends and
recruit them to make me
28
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,800
absolutely know that my reality
was not true when the reality
29
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:55,840
was it was true that my reality
had been, how can I put it?
30
00:01:55,840 --> 00:02:00,240
My reality had been warped is a
good word.
31
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,080
I mean, when when you look at
somebody and know that they're
32
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,800
cheating, know that they're
emotionally cheating, know for a
33
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,280
fact, and then you're proven
wrong by her friends.
34
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,280
You just shake your head and you
go, what the what the hell did I
35
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,800
just go through?
And then you go to another day
36
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,400
and you forget about it, but
your body doesn't and your mind
37
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,920
doesn't.
And then once you get out, or if
38
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:28,320
you try to talk to a friend,
which I did, they don't
39
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,520
understand.
And God forbid if you leave the
40
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,200
relationship and you tell
somebody you know two or three
41
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,920
months later that you're still
crying every day, or one year
42
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:42,640
later or two years later still
crying every day.
43
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,800
They go, what the Hell's wrong
with you?
44
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,800
My God, move on.
Get over it.
45
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,880
You know, man up or woman up.
They don't understand.
46
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,800
That's one of the most crippling
things for me at least, is my
47
00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:01,680
son has been an absolute
incredible person with me, but I
48
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,520
can't talk to him anymore.
I've been gone a year and almost
49
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,480
two months.
I can't talk to him.
50
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,120
I can't even tell him about how
I'm feeling anymore.
51
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:15,120
Not because he's incredibly
loving and sweet and kind to me.
52
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,960
It's because I know he doesn't
understand it.
53
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,440
I mean, it's a breakup to
everybody else in the world for
54
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:26,240
you and me, it's it's
catastrophic is a word I use
55
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,920
that really is good for that.
I'm sorry.
56
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:32,520
I'm talking in a down voice.
I'm actually at his house right
57
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:35,000
now and I don't want anybody
else listening to what I'm
58
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:39,960
saying.
But it's it for me, and I just
59
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:45,000
want to validate your feelings
that if you went off on them
60
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:50,040
when they ever got angry and
with them, all of us do.
61
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,240
But the gas lighting for me, I'd
never lived through that before
62
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,720
with a relationship.
I mean, I'm not going to say how
63
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,000
old I am, but believe me, I've
been through a few
64
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,600
relationships.
Nobody's gas let the crap out of
65
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,400
me like this deal.
I didn't even really understood
66
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,840
what gaslighting was.
Manipulation, you know, the
67
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,640
absolute lack of accountability
when it's staring you in the
68
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,920
face when things would happen.
And I tried to explain to her
69
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,640
what's going on and they don't
get it.
70
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,760
They don't understand it.
It's so then they turned around,
71
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,640
gaslight you, and all of a
sudden you're going.
72
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,880
Am I the one with bipolar?
Do I have these problems?
73
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:35,280
What the Hell's going on?
I used to be normal.
74
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,320
Have I all of a sudden gone off
the deep end?
75
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:45,240
It's just so hard.
I'm sorry.
76
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,240
It's just so hard because nobody
gets it.
77
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,600
And I wish we could talk about
it.
78
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:55,320
You know, I've often wondered if
I shouldn't, I shouldn't have
79
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:59,440
some kind of program to talk to
people actually one-on-one.
80
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,520
I guess I could if you're
interested, I'd be more than
81
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,040
glad to talk to people
one-on-one.
82
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,400
I'm not, you know, I've had
other people tell me I should
83
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:13,200
try to monetize this stuff.
I'm, I'm not, I'm doing this
84
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,400
from my own therapy.
And I have heard from people on
85
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,440
this platform that that helps
them because we all need this
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validation.
And where the hell does a
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validation come from?
If you can't talk to your
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friends, you can't talk to your
family, or you can just mention
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they had a mental illness and
then they go, well, you need to
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go ahead and get over it.
You know, don't look back, just
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look forward.
What the am I supposed to do
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00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,400
about that?
What am I supposed to do about a
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woman that was the most
incredibly living woman I've
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00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:47,040
ever met who the next day could
burn me down and literally walk
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00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,440
away?
How do you explain that to
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00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,880
anybody?
How do you explain that as
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you're sitting here a year later
and you're having a great day
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00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,880
and somebody comes, something
comes up on the TV or a memory
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00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,400
hits you and you instantly start
crying?
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That's called trauma.
That's called PTSD or CPTSD now.
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00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:15,360
It's continual, whatever it is,
PTSD, I don't know all these
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freaking terms.
All I know is I've been through
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00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,080
it because I've literally been
sitting here on numerous
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occasions sitting around and
boom, I just start crying.
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Thank God I'm alone.
I can't do it in public.
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00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,440
I just can't.
It's too embarrassing.
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So if you're, if you can relate
to this, if I'm helping you, I
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00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:45,240
really appreciate it.
I, I appreciate knowing that
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you're, I'm helping other people
because I've read so much and
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but nobody talks about it.
Hang your head up high.
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00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,880
Understand what we're going
through is not normal.
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00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:05,200
Nobody gets it and they won't
unless you talk to another
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00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,560
person that's lived with
somebody bipolar.
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00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,120
And how the hell do you know?
Nobody wants to admit it.
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00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:16,320
Do I want to admit the fact that
after my wife moved in with me
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00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:21,720
that it was pure and mitigated
chaos within three or four
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00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,640
months, which instantly traps
you into the trauma bond, which
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00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,160
they say a trauma bond is the
liken to be being addicted to
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heroin.
God, all this shit.
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I wish I didn't know.
And I guarantee you wish you
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00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,480
didn't know, but hold your head
up high.
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00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,560
It does get better.
You're validated.
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00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,680
I'm sorry.
I'm not the one with bipolar.
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00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:47,720
And how do you feel sorry for
somebody that tortures you?
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00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,840
Where the hell?
Where the Hell's that?
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00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,280
In the history books, the
psychology books?
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00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:58,280
I just can't read that crap.
I feel so sorry for her and I
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feel so guilty.
And at the same time, she
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tortured me.
Those things don't coexist, but
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they do.
With this, I love everybody.
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You take care.
I hope I help somebody.
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Bye.