May 21, 2026
Does Bipolar Disorder Always Get Worse Over Time? What Partners and Caregivers Need to Know
One of the most frightening things a partner or caregiver hears after a bipolar disorder diagnosis is that it only gets worse — but is that actually true? In this episode of The Other Side of Bipolar, we take an honest, research-informed look at bipolar disorder progression, what the science really says about long-term outcomes, and why the "it only gets worse" narrative can be both misleading and deeply damaging to relationships. Whether you're loving someone newly diagnosed with bipolar I or bipolar II, or you've been a caregiver for years wondering why cycles seem to be intensifying, this conversation is for you. We explore the role of treatment consistency, sleep disruption, substance use, and stress on episode frequency — and what partners can actually do to support stability rather than spiral into hopelessness. If you've been Googling "does bipolar get worse with age," "bipolar disorder long-term prognosis," or "how to help a partner with bipolar," this episode was made with you in mind.
1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,280
Hello everybody.
I haven't uploaded anything
2
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,160
recently just to be honest with
you.
3
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:10,880
I needed some time to to not be
so involved in this because it's
4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,440
so gut wrenching.
What I wanted to talk today is
5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:18,360
the end stage bipolar that my
wife unfortunately is going
6
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,800
through right now.
I was with her for 10 years, as
7
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:26,280
you may know, and when we first
met she was manic, which I've
8
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,280
found most of us are in this
boat.
9
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,520
They were manic.
She was incredibly all over the
10
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,120
place, hypersexual with me, blah
blah blah.
11
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,760
What I'm trying to get to though
is, is more and more research
12
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,800
papers are showing specifically
that this is a progressive
13
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,440
illness.
It doesn't get better.
14
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,360
They are not miraculously going
to come around and be OK.
15
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:56,120
They'll only get worse.
I'm sorry to say that but it's
16
00:00:56,120 --> 00:01:01,520
the truth.
Unless it gets worse for all of
17
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:06,640
them, but the the difficulty
they give to their partner can
18
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:11,800
be reduced substantially if they
literally are self aware.
19
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,640
They know they have a problem,
they know they want to fix it,
20
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,640
they use you to help them fix it
and everybody's on the same
21
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,040
team.
If they're not or if they're
22
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:25,000
unmedicated, literally leave
mind.
23
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,120
To be honest with you, 10 years
ago she was to the point after
24
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:33,000
her late husband passed away.
She got together with me within
25
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,000
four or five months after her
husband passing of 17 years.
26
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,360
I look back on it now and I'm
just wow, why the hell did I do
27
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,200
this?
But at the end of the day, back
28
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,240
then she was.
I remember one time we're
29
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,320
sitting in a restaurant and she
was mumbling, literally
30
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,000
mumbling.
She couldn't talk.
31
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:57,880
I feel so sorry for even now.
And then after that she got more
32
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,680
and more stubborn, more and more
self-centered.
33
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,600
Believe me, if they're the only
person on the House, the
34
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,360
mortgage and you're not, they
will use that leverage to hurt
35
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,960
you.
Mine did, I own my house
36
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,040
outright.
But anyway that's another story.
37
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,200
But I'm getting to though it.
It's a progressive disease.
38
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,160
It doesn't get better and it
only gets worse.
39
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,840
And if they are not taking
medication it's going to get a
40
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,160
whole lot worse and a whole lot
worse.
41
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:29,880
Looks like them cycling faster
and faster, meaning they go into
42
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:35,200
an episode and the worse the
episode is the less protection
43
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,840
they have for the next one and
the next one will come faster.
44
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:43,200
If you if they've discarded you
and didn't want to come back,
45
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,840
please read all the stories.
That just happens again.
46
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,760
I'm sorry.
So I wanted to get to though
47
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,920
mine at the very end after I
became paralyzed.
48
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,680
At the very end, she got into
what I've never seen in 10
49
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,000
years, which is called ultra
ultra rapid cycling, where
50
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,280
literally she was changing
minute to minute.
51
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:09,080
It's hard to believe, but I saw
it with my own eyes.
52
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,840
She could be yelling and she
was, she was yelling and
53
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,840
screaming at me to get out of
the house, to leave, leave,
54
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,960
leave.
And I was in the wheelchair.
55
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,280
And then literally when I said,
you know what, let's go to
56
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,640
counseling, she said I don't
need to go to counseling.
57
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:27,240
I'm just fine, which was to me
indicative of if she quit her
58
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,480
medicine.
And then I said, you know what,
59
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,800
I'll go to counseling.
She instantly, I mean instantly
60
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,760
looked at me and went OK, went
and sat down and scrolled on her
61
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,320
phone.
Boom, I mean the incredible
62
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,360
rage.
And two seconds later she was
63
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,680
doing her phone.
After that she came over and
64
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,360
actually showed me her phone
something sweet.
65
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,640
We watched a baseball game
together for about an hour, an
66
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:58,120
hour and a half.
She went and cut the cut my hair
67
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:02,640
on the back porch with the dogs.
Everything was great and then
68
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,520
something happened and boom,
kicking me out of the house
69
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,920
again.
I I was in awe of how she could
70
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,680
go.
Awe and sadness to watch her
71
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:19,440
destroy our ten years together.
This beautiful woman that
72
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,440
destroyed everything.
And I don't know.
73
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,760
And what they, the experts tell
me is she'll probably never
74
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,000
know.
Some bipolar people tell me that
75
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,080
they do remember what goes on
and I've heard the whole phrase
76
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,200
of it's like being in a car
watching yourself destroy
77
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,480
everything but you just don't
care.
78
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,920
But mine, I don't know if she
ever she doesn't talk to me.
79
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,760
I'm sure she got angry after I
left because I'm sure she wrote
80
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,160
the history and saying that
somehow I was this huge problem
81
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,240
again, I wasn't perfect, but
come on.
82
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,680
But the ultra, ultra rapid
cycling means that they been
83
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,000
abusing themselves for many,
many years.
84
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,200
And this not going to get any
better.
85
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,120
It's only going to get worse.
And I don't care how much you
86
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,200
love them.
I don't care how much patience
87
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,680
you have with them.
You will destroy yourself.
88
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,480
Some people are able to do it.
I've, I've heard and talked to
89
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,680
people, you know, the spouses
that can sit there for 20 years
90
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,480
and 30 years and have them cheat
on them.
91
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,680
Because if they cheat once and
you allow it to happen, they'll
92
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:28,280
cheat again and again and again.
That's written in stone.
93
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,400
So and then I've got many
bipolar people have told me they
94
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,960
would never think of cheating.
That's a character issue and
95
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,360
they must be in control.
The worse they get, the more in
96
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,360
control they need to get.
Not because they necessarily
97
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,280
mean it's because they have to
control things to keep
98
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,440
themselves from going more
insane.
99
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,320
I don't know if that makes
sense, but that's the way they
100
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:56,480
think is I understand it.
So listen, everybody, if you're
101
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,880
with a bipolar person and
wondering if it's going to get
102
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,200
better, it won't.
Period.
103
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,560
I can't tell you how many
stories I read of people, Oh,
104
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,800
they got on the new drug and
they're doing great.
105
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,120
He's been so wonderful for the
last two or three years, and
106
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,680
then boom, somebody passes away,
they have a kid, they move to a
107
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,760
house, something happens, they
blow it all up, discard him, and
108
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:21,520
they never hear from him again.
That's the unfortunate part of
109
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,520
the ticking time bomb I've
talked about in another episode.
110
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,920
So keep your heads up, do as
much research as you can.
111
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,640
But, and from my personal
experience and my studying that
112
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,960
I've done on this, it doesn't
get better.
113
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,280
It only gets worse with age.
The if they're heavily medicated
114
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,680
and doing the right thing, it
keeps the highs and lows in
115
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,960
check to some degree, but it
doesn't mean that they might
116
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,160
blow up because I've heard of
the stories.
117
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,920
Every, every bipolar person is
different.
118
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,360
Of course.
They're all on the spectrum but
119
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,400
I've seen many stories where
they were great for 20 years, no
120
00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:01,320
problems whatsoever and boom
they destroy it in a matter of a
121
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,280
month. 20 years of marriage.
It's so sad.
122
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,720
Thank you guys for listening.
Take care.
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,280
Hello everybody.
I haven't uploaded anything
2
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,160
recently just to be honest with
you.
3
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:10,880
I needed some time to to not be
so involved in this because it's
4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,440
so gut wrenching.
What I wanted to talk today is
5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:18,360
the end stage bipolar that my
wife unfortunately is going
6
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:21,800
through right now.
I was with her for 10 years, as
7
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:26,280
you may know, and when we first
met she was manic, which I've
8
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,280
found most of us are in this
boat.
9
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,520
They were manic.
She was incredibly all over the
10
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,120
place, hypersexual with me, blah
blah blah.
11
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,760
What I'm trying to get to though
is, is more and more research
12
00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,800
papers are showing specifically
that this is a progressive
13
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:47,440
illness.
It doesn't get better.
14
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,360
They are not miraculously going
to come around and be OK.
15
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:56,120
They'll only get worse.
I'm sorry to say that but it's
16
00:00:56,120 --> 00:01:01,520
the truth.
Unless it gets worse for all of
17
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:06,640
them, but the the difficulty
they give to their partner can
18
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:11,800
be reduced substantially if they
literally are self aware.
19
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,640
They know they have a problem,
they know they want to fix it,
20
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,640
they use you to help them fix it
and everybody's on the same
21
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,040
team.
If they're not or if they're
22
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:25,000
unmedicated, literally leave
mind.
23
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,120
To be honest with you, 10 years
ago she was to the point after
24
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:33,000
her late husband passed away.
She got together with me within
25
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,000
four or five months after her
husband passing of 17 years.
26
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,360
I look back on it now and I'm
just wow, why the hell did I do
27
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,200
this?
But at the end of the day, back
28
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,240
then she was.
I remember one time we're
29
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,320
sitting in a restaurant and she
was mumbling, literally
30
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,000
mumbling.
She couldn't talk.
31
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:57,880
I feel so sorry for even now.
And then after that she got more
32
00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,680
and more stubborn, more and more
self-centered.
33
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,600
Believe me, if they're the only
person on the House, the
34
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,360
mortgage and you're not, they
will use that leverage to hurt
35
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,960
you.
Mine did, I own my house
36
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,040
outright.
But anyway that's another story.
37
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,200
But I'm getting to though it.
It's a progressive disease.
38
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,160
It doesn't get better and it
only gets worse.
39
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,840
And if they are not taking
medication it's going to get a
40
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,160
whole lot worse and a whole lot
worse.
41
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:29,880
Looks like them cycling faster
and faster, meaning they go into
42
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:35,200
an episode and the worse the
episode is the less protection
43
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,840
they have for the next one and
the next one will come faster.
44
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:43,200
If you if they've discarded you
and didn't want to come back,
45
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,840
please read all the stories.
That just happens again.
46
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,760
I'm sorry.
So I wanted to get to though
47
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,920
mine at the very end after I
became paralyzed.
48
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,680
At the very end, she got into
what I've never seen in 10
49
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,000
years, which is called ultra
ultra rapid cycling, where
50
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,280
literally she was changing
minute to minute.
51
00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:09,080
It's hard to believe, but I saw
it with my own eyes.
52
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,840
She could be yelling and she
was, she was yelling and
53
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,840
screaming at me to get out of
the house, to leave, leave,
54
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,960
leave.
And I was in the wheelchair.
55
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,280
And then literally when I said,
you know what, let's go to
56
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,640
counseling, she said I don't
need to go to counseling.
57
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:27,240
I'm just fine, which was to me
indicative of if she quit her
58
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,480
medicine.
And then I said, you know what,
59
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,800
I'll go to counseling.
She instantly, I mean instantly
60
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,760
looked at me and went OK, went
and sat down and scrolled on her
61
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,320
phone.
Boom, I mean the incredible
62
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,360
rage.
And two seconds later she was
63
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,680
doing her phone.
After that she came over and
64
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,360
actually showed me her phone
something sweet.
65
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,640
We watched a baseball game
together for about an hour, an
66
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:58,120
hour and a half.
She went and cut the cut my hair
67
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:02,640
on the back porch with the dogs.
Everything was great and then
68
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,520
something happened and boom,
kicking me out of the house
69
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,920
again.
I I was in awe of how she could
70
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,680
go.
Awe and sadness to watch her
71
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:19,440
destroy our ten years together.
This beautiful woman that
72
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,440
destroyed everything.
And I don't know.
73
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,760
And what they, the experts tell
me is she'll probably never
74
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,000
know.
Some bipolar people tell me that
75
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,080
they do remember what goes on
and I've heard the whole phrase
76
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,200
of it's like being in a car
watching yourself destroy
77
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,480
everything but you just don't
care.
78
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,920
But mine, I don't know if she
ever she doesn't talk to me.
79
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,760
I'm sure she got angry after I
left because I'm sure she wrote
80
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,160
the history and saying that
somehow I was this huge problem
81
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,240
again, I wasn't perfect, but
come on.
82
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:58,680
But the ultra, ultra rapid
cycling means that they been
83
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,000
abusing themselves for many,
many years.
84
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,200
And this not going to get any
better.
85
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,120
It's only going to get worse.
And I don't care how much you
86
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,200
love them.
I don't care how much patience
87
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,680
you have with them.
You will destroy yourself.
88
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,480
Some people are able to do it.
I've, I've heard and talked to
89
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,680
people, you know, the spouses
that can sit there for 20 years
90
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,480
and 30 years and have them cheat
on them.
91
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,680
Because if they cheat once and
you allow it to happen, they'll
92
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:28,280
cheat again and again and again.
That's written in stone.
93
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,400
So and then I've got many
bipolar people have told me they
94
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,960
would never think of cheating.
That's a character issue and
95
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:39,360
they must be in control.
The worse they get, the more in
96
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,360
control they need to get.
Not because they necessarily
97
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:46,280
mean it's because they have to
control things to keep
98
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,440
themselves from going more
insane.
99
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,320
I don't know if that makes
sense, but that's the way they
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think is I understand it.
So listen, everybody, if you're
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with a bipolar person and
wondering if it's going to get
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00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,200
better, it won't.
Period.
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00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,560
I can't tell you how many
stories I read of people, Oh,
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they got on the new drug and
they're doing great.
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00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,120
He's been so wonderful for the
last two or three years, and
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then boom, somebody passes away,
they have a kid, they move to a
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house, something happens, they
blow it all up, discard him, and
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they never hear from him again.
That's the unfortunate part of
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the ticking time bomb I've
talked about in another episode.
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So keep your heads up, do as
much research as you can.
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But, and from my personal
experience and my studying that
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I've done on this, it doesn't
get better.
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It only gets worse with age.
The if they're heavily medicated
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and doing the right thing, it
keeps the highs and lows in
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check to some degree, but it
doesn't mean that they might
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blow up because I've heard of
the stories.
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Every, every bipolar person is
different.
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Of course.
They're all on the spectrum but
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I've seen many stories where
they were great for 20 years, no
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problems whatsoever and boom
they destroy it in a matter of a
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month. 20 years of marriage.
It's so sad.
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Thank you guys for listening.
Take care.