April 26, 2026
"Bipolar Disorder and Cheating: Why Hypersexuality and Infidelity Repeat Without Real Consequences"
Cheating, Bipolar, and Hypersexuality:
Why It Happens Again If You Don't Hold the Line
Let's talk about something nobody in the caregiver space wants to say out loud — but everybody needs to hear.
When your partner cheats, and they also have bipolar disorder with a history of hypersexuality, you are not dealing with a simple relationship problem. You are dealing with a perfect storm. And if you don't understand the storm, you will keep getting hit by it.
Here's what's actually happening.
Hypersexuality is a recognized symptom of bipolar mania and hypomania. During elevated episodes, the brain's reward circuitry goes into overdrive. Impulse control drops. Risk tolerance skyrockets. The normal internal brakes — the ones that say this will hurt someone I love — go quiet. Sex becomes a compulsive pursuit, not a choice. That is the biology.
But here's where it gets complicated. The biology does not erase the behavior. It explains it. It does not excuse it.
When a bipolar partner cheats during an episode and there are no real consequences — when you take them back quickly, when you minimize what happened, when you absorb the damage silently — you have just taught them something. You taught them that this is survivable. For them. Not for you. For them.
And the brain remembers that.
The next time an episode comes — and with untreated or undertreated bipolar, it will come — the path of least resistance is already worn smooth. The affair wasn't just a symptom. It became a pattern. And patterns repeat.
Accountability is not punishment. Accountability is the only thing that creates the friction necessary for real change. That means consequences that are real and felt. That means therapy — individual and couples — where the behavior is named and examined, not glossed over in the relief of reconciliation. That means a treatment plan that is actually followed, not just promised.
For the partner — for you — accountability also means being honest with yourself. About what you will accept. About what you won't. About whether the person you love is doing the actual work, or just doing enough to keep you from leaving.
Love is not enough to stop a pattern that has#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1 #BipolarAwareness #MentalHealth #MentalHealthMatters #Hypersexuality #BipolarRelationships #CaregiverSupport #RelationshipBoundaries #HealthyBoundaries #InfidelityRecovery #CheatingRecovery #TrustAfterInfidelity #Accountability #RelationshipHealing #MentalIllnessAwareness #LovedOnesOfBipolar #Mania #Hypomania #TraumaRecovery #EmotionalHealing #CodependencyRecovery #RelationshipAdvice #TheOtherSideOfBipolar #BipolarPodcast never been interrupted.
The most loving thing you can do — for yourself and sometimes even for them — is to make the cost of that behavior real.
Because if there is no cost, there is no reason to change.
And they will cheat again.
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All right, I'm sitting on my
porch, so if you hear some wind,
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thank you for listening to my
podcast.
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Again, all bipolar people are on
a spectrum.
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Mine had bipolar woman
psychosis, married to her for 10
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years.
This episode's about cheating.
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I'm going to be very specific
here.
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After all the reading and
everything I've done, cheating
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is the deal breaker.
It was for me and it should be
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for you.
That's my opinion.
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I know people can stay around
because they got no financial
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ability to leave.
And my 10 year marriage after
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six years of that, where we were
a team, yeah, there was ups and
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downs and horribles and back and
forth, but I was always rock
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solid knowing that my wife and I
were a team.
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We're a partnership.
Then I find out she's going to
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the gym with this guy at 5:00 in
the morning.
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The details aren't important.
What I'm trying to relay is my
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experience personally and the
fact that it's been validated
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over and over and over again in
all the forms and everywhere
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that I've looked around.
Some people may not like it.
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I really don't care.
Trust in a marriage is
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everything, period.
And when they cheat on you,
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which they may be hypomanic,
they may be manic, whatever.
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If they cheat on you, leave in
my opinion.
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I know it's easy to say it's
difficult to do.
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However with my personal
experience, she started going
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with this guy at the gym.
Again, the details aren't
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important.
What the details are important
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is I let her know I thought it
was inappropriate and to stop.
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I didn't know if it was a
physical, whether it was
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physical, I still don't, but I'm
just saying.
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And so she looked at me and said
no, I'm not going to let go of
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this relationship.
There's nothing going on.
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He's just a friend.
Us guys know what that means and
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to not worry about it.
For three months I was
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devastated and she didn't give a
crap.
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And to this day she still
doesn't care.
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Well, I left her ten months ago.
So but to the before I left, I
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mentioned it.
She said nothing went on.
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That's a problem of yours.
That's not the point.
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If you love somebody in a
relationship, if if you do
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something that hurts your
partner, you stop doing it,
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whatever it is, period.
That's how you make a
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partnership and a strong
marriage.
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You don't tell your partner, oh,
I'm with another dude and it's
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no big deal and you've got to
get over it.
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So what I'm trying to say is
that's my experience.
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All it does when you let them
off the hook is let them know
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that you're not going to leave
if they do stupid shit because
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their main concern is you
leaving.
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That's what it is.
The 99% of the time they just
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don't want you to leave.
But it also means it doesn't
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necessarily mean they love you.
They need you.
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There's a difference.
Learn the difference.
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So she didn't care about me and
what I'm trying to say.
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Overall, with all of my
experiences and I've read over
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and over and over, I can't tell
you how many times people saying
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that they forgive the cheating
because it was manic.
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And then again, they go manic,
they cheat again, they go
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hypomanic, they cheat again,
physical.
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Sometimes they even brag about
it.
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Oh, it was no big deal, but we
had great sex for one night, No
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big deal.
And the people stay with them
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again.
I understand if if you've got
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kids and you've got financial
difficulties or whatever and you
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can't leave, I understand that.
But if you can, you're stupid if
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you stay because it will only
repeat.
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The one central theme of
bipolar, and nobody will correct
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me on this is that it is cyclic.
It just goes around and around
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and I don't care if they're
medicated, unmedicated, going to
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a therapist, going to a
psychiatrist.
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The only thing for sure we're
the bipolar person is they're
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going to have a tremendous
amount of emotional upheaval and
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instability.
And I don't care if they're
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medicated or not.
The medicated, yes, makes it not
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as extreme most of the time.
But remember something central
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to everything, central to
everything.
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If they're medicated with you
and they literally, literally
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only miss two or three days of
taking their medicine, they can
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go straight into mania.
When they go into mania, then
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they go off the drugs.
They feel great.
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And when you tell them they need
to take care of it, they'll tell
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you you're crazy and it's your
problem and they'll continue
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doing their stuff, blowing their
life and your marriage.
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This happens after 20-30, forty
years.
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The central theme of this
podcast, once again, is the same
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thing.
What I said, if they cheat,
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that's a character issue.
It's not a bipolar issue.
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Yes, bipolar people get
hypersexual.
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They do.
I've read very few stories, but
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a few that when the woman, for
instance, get hypersexual, she
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goes and attacks her husband
sexually.
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Well, all right, if you're a
guy, that's like heaven on
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earth.
We love that.
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All right?
Oh, you're going to sexually
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traumatize your husband and then
make him have sex all the time?
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Oh poor him.
At least that's my opinion.
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Mine didn't do that.
She would get hypersexual 'cause
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I could tell and then she'd be
out openly flirting with guys,
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which was at the end of my deal.
When she was flirting on top of
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everything that happened.
That's when I said bullshit and
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left.
You know I'm sure to this day
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nothing happened.
I asked her why were you
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flirting with that guy right in
front of me?
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She said, oh, he was gay.
Now a woman that loves you will
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say, my goodness, honey, I'm
sorry.
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I didn't really.
Or maybe I was kind of flirting
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with him, but that was wrong and
I shouldn't have done it in
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front of you.
And I'm sorry to hurt your
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feelings.
That's a normal conversation.
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Mine literally when I told her
that she said he's gay.
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That's it.
That's the way their mind works,
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which was obvious, not he wasn't
gay.
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She checked him out big time.
Since then I found out that she
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was doing that with other guys
too.
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I don't know how much she
cheated.
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It didn't matter.
I got out period.
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And to be honest with you, I got
out basically broke.
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I was so traumatized I packed up
my car, had 1000 bucks and and
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moved 1000 miles away because I
know I had to.
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I didn't know any of the
circumstances of what I was
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going to do, but I had to leave.
So but with the cheater, there's
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an old saying that once a
cheater, always a cheater.
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I happen to believe that 100%,
especially if they're in mania.
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Once again, if you don't know
the semantics of the whole
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thing, when they go hypomanic or
manic and hypersexual, yes, that
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means they're much more
interested in sex, but it does
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not force them to.
I use the analogy, if you're a
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bipolar person is working, they
go to work every day, they do
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their job and they come home and
then they're hypersexual or
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Tucci like shit and blah blah
blah blah.
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You know what?
If they did that exact same
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thing at work, they'd be fired,
wouldn't they?
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They sure would be.
They'd be fired immediately for
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that kind of crap on the in the
job workforce.
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But they can go home and do it
to you, which tells me, and it
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should tell you they have the
ability to contain it and not do
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it.
Because if they're able to work
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and keep their job, that means
they can, they can work around
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it.
They don't have to be that
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shitty.
They don't have to be
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hypersexual with their other
employees and affectionate and
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everything else.
They do it by choice.
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And so when they get around you,
they go first.
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I need this person in my life.
I don't want to be left and
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abandoned.
So if I push their boundary a
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little bit, what happens?
Oh, they didn't do anything,
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then they cheat and they didn't
do anything.
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Well, shit, that means I can do
it more.
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That's what you're setting
yourself up for.
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The first thing that you should
do when they cheat is literally
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walk out the door.
Even if you know it's only for a
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couple of days, there has to be
consequence.
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You can't just fight them on it
or be mean or yell and scream
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and not leave.
Your leverage on them is
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leaving.
So leave for a day, but don't
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tell them anything.
Don't say I'm going to leave for
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a couple of days and come back.
Don't say shit, all right?
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Just pick up your keys, look at
them and say that's
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unacceptable.
Pack a bag and walk out the
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freaking door with your If you
got kids, take them with you.
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Take the kids with you.
Stay in a motel room for a night
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or two, but do not tell them.
Don't say where.
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If they say where are you going,
it's none of your damn business.
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Cheaters don't get any
information.
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Oh, when are you going to be
back?
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I don't know if I'll ever be
back.
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You're a fucking cheater.
Don't even say I don't know,
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just say I'm not coming back and
leave and see what happens.
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If they're still manic, they may
not call you immediately, but
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they need to know there's a
consequence to their actions
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because if there isn't, they
will do it again for sure.
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If there is, they still may do
it again.
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And quite frankly, they do do
it, at least all the stories
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I've read.
So because I got so angry and
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irritated and anxious and
everything else and she could
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care less, my wife could care
less back then.
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I haven't filed for divorce from
my wife yet.
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You know why?
Because she threatened the
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mother of my kids.
My ex-wife before her threatened
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her.
The only leverage I have on you
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is your ex wife's not doesn't
have a green card yet.
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She's been in the states for 10
years, married to a green girl
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and got a kid.
She'll get it in the next two or
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three months.
When she does, then I'm going to
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file.
But you're dealing with dynamite
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here, folks.
Make a decision and stick to it,
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but don't think for a minute
that they're not going to cheat
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again.
And also to just in closing, my
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relationship with my wife was
great 7080% of the time, but the
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10 to 20% of the time it was an
absolute chaos.
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Drive you to your knees, make
you go insane type stuff.
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So that doesn't overcome the
good times.
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It just didn't for me and most
people it doesn't.
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Hang in there people.
Please leave a comment if you'd
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like, and if you would like to
be interviewed here, that would
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be great.
It obviously can be anonymous,
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but contact me and let me know
if you'd like to be interviewed
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here because it would be very
beneficial for everybody.
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And to be honest, it would be
very beneficial for you to get
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it out and talk about it.
Take care everybody.
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God bless.
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All right, I'm sitting on my
porch, so if you hear some wind,
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thank you for listening to my
podcast.
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Again, all bipolar people are on
a spectrum.
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Mine had bipolar woman
psychosis, married to her for 10
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years.
This episode's about cheating.
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I'm going to be very specific
here.
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After all the reading and
everything I've done, cheating
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is the deal breaker.
It was for me and it should be
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for you.
That's my opinion.
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I know people can stay around
because they got no financial
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ability to leave.
And my 10 year marriage after
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six years of that, where we were
a team, yeah, there was ups and
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downs and horribles and back and
forth, but I was always rock
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solid knowing that my wife and I
were a team.
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We're a partnership.
Then I find out she's going to
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the gym with this guy at 5:00 in
the morning.
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The details aren't important.
What I'm trying to relay is my
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experience personally and the
fact that it's been validated
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over and over and over again in
all the forms and everywhere
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that I've looked around.
Some people may not like it.
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I really don't care.
Trust in a marriage is
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everything, period.
And when they cheat on you,
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which they may be hypomanic,
they may be manic, whatever.
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If they cheat on you, leave in
my opinion.
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I know it's easy to say it's
difficult to do.
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However with my personal
experience, she started going
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with this guy at the gym.
Again, the details aren't
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important.
What the details are important
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is I let her know I thought it
was inappropriate and to stop.
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I didn't know if it was a
physical, whether it was
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physical, I still don't, but I'm
just saying.
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And so she looked at me and said
no, I'm not going to let go of
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this relationship.
There's nothing going on.
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He's just a friend.
Us guys know what that means and
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to not worry about it.
For three months I was
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devastated and she didn't give a
crap.
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And to this day she still
doesn't care.
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Well, I left her ten months ago.
So but to the before I left, I
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mentioned it.
She said nothing went on.
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That's a problem of yours.
That's not the point.
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If you love somebody in a
relationship, if if you do
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something that hurts your
partner, you stop doing it,
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whatever it is, period.
That's how you make a
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partnership and a strong
marriage.
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You don't tell your partner, oh,
I'm with another dude and it's
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no big deal and you've got to
get over it.
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So what I'm trying to say is
that's my experience.
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All it does when you let them
off the hook is let them know
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that you're not going to leave
if they do stupid shit because
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their main concern is you
leaving.
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That's what it is.
The 99% of the time they just
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don't want you to leave.
But it also means it doesn't
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necessarily mean they love you.
They need you.
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There's a difference.
Learn the difference.
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So she didn't care about me and
what I'm trying to say.
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Overall, with all of my
experiences and I've read over
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and over and over, I can't tell
you how many times people saying
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that they forgive the cheating
because it was manic.
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And then again, they go manic,
they cheat again, they go
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hypomanic, they cheat again,
physical.
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Sometimes they even brag about
it.
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Oh, it was no big deal, but we
had great sex for one night, No
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big deal.
And the people stay with them
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again.
I understand if if you've got
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kids and you've got financial
difficulties or whatever and you
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can't leave, I understand that.
But if you can, you're stupid if
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you stay because it will only
repeat.
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The one central theme of
bipolar, and nobody will correct
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me on this is that it is cyclic.
It just goes around and around
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and I don't care if they're
medicated, unmedicated, going to
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a therapist, going to a
psychiatrist.
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The only thing for sure we're
the bipolar person is they're
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going to have a tremendous
amount of emotional upheaval and
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instability.
And I don't care if they're
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medicated or not.
The medicated, yes, makes it not
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as extreme most of the time.
But remember something central
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to everything, central to
everything.
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If they're medicated with you
and they literally, literally
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only miss two or three days of
taking their medicine, they can
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go straight into mania.
When they go into mania, then
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they go off the drugs.
They feel great.
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And when you tell them they need
to take care of it, they'll tell
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you you're crazy and it's your
problem and they'll continue
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doing their stuff, blowing their
life and your marriage.
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This happens after 20-30, forty
years.
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The central theme of this
podcast, once again, is the same
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thing.
What I said, if they cheat,
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that's a character issue.
It's not a bipolar issue.
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Yes, bipolar people get
hypersexual.
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They do.
I've read very few stories, but
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a few that when the woman, for
instance, get hypersexual, she
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goes and attacks her husband
sexually.
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Well, all right, if you're a
guy, that's like heaven on
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earth.
We love that.
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All right?
Oh, you're going to sexually
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traumatize your husband and then
make him have sex all the time?
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Oh poor him.
At least that's my opinion.
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Mine didn't do that.
She would get hypersexual 'cause
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I could tell and then she'd be
out openly flirting with guys,
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which was at the end of my deal.
When she was flirting on top of
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everything that happened.
That's when I said bullshit and
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left.
You know I'm sure to this day
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nothing happened.
I asked her why were you
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flirting with that guy right in
front of me?
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She said, oh, he was gay.
Now a woman that loves you will
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say, my goodness, honey, I'm
sorry.
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I didn't really.
Or maybe I was kind of flirting
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with him, but that was wrong and
I shouldn't have done it in
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front of you.
And I'm sorry to hurt your
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feelings.
That's a normal conversation.
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Mine literally when I told her
that she said he's gay.
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That's it.
That's the way their mind works,
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which was obvious, not he wasn't
gay.
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She checked him out big time.
Since then I found out that she
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was doing that with other guys
too.
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I don't know how much she
cheated.
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It didn't matter.
I got out period.
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And to be honest with you, I got
out basically broke.
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I was so traumatized I packed up
my car, had 1000 bucks and and
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moved 1000 miles away because I
know I had to.
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I didn't know any of the
circumstances of what I was
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going to do, but I had to leave.
So but with the cheater, there's
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an old saying that once a
cheater, always a cheater.
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I happen to believe that 100%,
especially if they're in mania.
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Once again, if you don't know
the semantics of the whole
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thing, when they go hypomanic or
manic and hypersexual, yes, that
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means they're much more
interested in sex, but it does
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not force them to.
I use the analogy, if you're a
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bipolar person is working, they
go to work every day, they do
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their job and they come home and
then they're hypersexual or
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Tucci like shit and blah blah
blah blah.
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You know what?
If they did that exact same
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thing at work, they'd be fired,
wouldn't they?
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They sure would be.
They'd be fired immediately for
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that kind of crap on the in the
job workforce.
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But they can go home and do it
to you, which tells me, and it
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should tell you they have the
ability to contain it and not do
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it.
Because if they're able to work
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and keep their job, that means
they can, they can work around
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it.
They don't have to be that
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shitty.
They don't have to be
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hypersexual with their other
employees and affectionate and
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everything else.
They do it by choice.
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And so when they get around you,
they go first.
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I need this person in my life.
I don't want to be left and
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abandoned.
So if I push their boundary a
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little bit, what happens?
Oh, they didn't do anything,
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then they cheat and they didn't
do anything.
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Well, shit, that means I can do
it more.
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That's what you're setting
yourself up for.
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The first thing that you should
do when they cheat is literally
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walk out the door.
Even if you know it's only for a
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couple of days, there has to be
consequence.
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You can't just fight them on it
or be mean or yell and scream
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and not leave.
Your leverage on them is
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leaving.
So leave for a day, but don't
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tell them anything.
Don't say I'm going to leave for
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a couple of days and come back.
Don't say shit, all right?
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Just pick up your keys, look at
them and say that's
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unacceptable.
Pack a bag and walk out the
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freaking door with your If you
got kids, take them with you.
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Take the kids with you.
Stay in a motel room for a night
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or two, but do not tell them.
Don't say where.
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If they say where are you going,
it's none of your damn business.
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Cheaters don't get any
information.
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Oh, when are you going to be
back?
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I don't know if I'll ever be
back.
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You're a fucking cheater.
Don't even say I don't know,
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just say I'm not coming back and
leave and see what happens.
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If they're still manic, they may
not call you immediately, but
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they need to know there's a
consequence to their actions
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because if there isn't, they
will do it again for sure.
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If there is, they still may do
it again.
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And quite frankly, they do do
it, at least all the stories
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I've read.
So because I got so angry and
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irritated and anxious and
everything else and she could
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care less, my wife could care
less back then.
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I haven't filed for divorce from
my wife yet.
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You know why?
Because she threatened the
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mother of my kids.
My ex-wife before her threatened
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her.
The only leverage I have on you
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is your ex wife's not doesn't
have a green card yet.
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She's been in the states for 10
years, married to a green girl
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and got a kid.
She'll get it in the next two or
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three months.
When she does, then I'm going to
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file.
But you're dealing with dynamite
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here, folks.
Make a decision and stick to it,
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but don't think for a minute
that they're not going to cheat
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again.
And also to just in closing, my
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relationship with my wife was
great 7080% of the time, but the
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10 to 20% of the time it was an
absolute chaos.
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Drive you to your knees, make
you go insane type stuff.
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So that doesn't overcome the
good times.
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It just didn't for me and most
people it doesn't.
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Hang in there people.
Please leave a comment if you'd
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like, and if you would like to
be interviewed here, that would
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be great.
It obviously can be anonymous,
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but contact me and let me know
if you'd like to be interviewed
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here because it would be very
beneficial for everybody.
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And to be honest, it would be
very beneficial for you to get
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it out and talk about it.
Take care everybody.
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God bless.