Bipolar Discard Warning Signs: How to Know When It's Coming (A Partner's Guide)

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Hello everybody. 
Today I want to talk about 

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trying to understand or see the 
discard that may be coming. 

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That's a discard from your 
bipolar person because sometimes

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it does happen immediately, but 
most of the time they're 

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certainly signals. 
One of the biggest, biggest 

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signals is that they start 
withdrawing, which is normal in 

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any relationship. 
They start drawing away from 

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you. 
But the reasons why they do it 

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are immensely different. 
A person that's bipolar will, at

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least in my experience with my 
wife, it took years, quite 

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frankly, the years that I saw it
coming because it's so 

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confusing, as you can probably 
understand, because one minute 

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they're loving and nice and the 
next minute they're devaluing 

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you. 
I saw that over the last couple 

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of years. 
I started noticing instead of me

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being a hero, it was me being 
devalued. 

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Like when I would work out, 
she'd say it doesn't make any 

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sense. 
When I would try to better 

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myself, she didn't want me to, 
even though if you asked her, 

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she would probably say, yes, of 
course I want my husband to get 

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better. 
But at the same time, I could 

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see where she didn't care if I 
got better. 

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So that was the interesting 
thing, mean interesting thing 

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for me to look back on over 
these years that I would the 10 

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years I was with her. 
I mean, one time at the gym I 

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was doing circuit training, 
which is one of the most 

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difficult parts because you keep
your cardiovascular system and 

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blood pulse rate high and doing 
weights at the same time. 

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She looked at me and told me 
that doesn't make any sense. 

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Why are you doing that? 
It doesn't make any sense. 

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Even the manager of the gym said
it doesn't make any sense. 

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Now whether that's true what the
manager said or not, you would 

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think a wife would be happy that
her husband is sweating like a 

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pig and working his ass off at 
the gym, but she wasn't. 

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Now why is the big question? 
Because the number one thing for

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a bipolar worse person in my 
opinion is they don't want you 

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to leave. 
They want you to be dependent on

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them. 
They want you to never be able 

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to be independent enough to walk
away from them. 

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That's all that matters. 
They're controlling because of 

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that. 
Look at your situation with your

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bipolar spouse and start seeing 
the reality of this stuff that 

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happened. 
It happened to me again. 

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Not every bipolar person is the 
same, definitely. 

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However many of them are. 
They control you because they 

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don't want to lose you. 
If you bring up something that 

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bothers you, they don't want to 
hear about it most of the time. 

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They're more interested in how 
they feel and how you make them 

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feel. 
So I just wanted to briefly get 

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on here because this is an 
important one because the 

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discard is so destabilizing for 
you. 

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I have read stories of people, 
1520, thirty years of a happy 

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marriage, and all of a sudden 
there's a life stressor, like 

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somebody passes away or you move
a house or you have a kid or 

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something happens and they 
discard you overnight. 

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That's the scariest part. 
I didn't get that. 

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In fact, mine, who was a woman, 
she never discarded me. 

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She didn't. 
But at the end she did some 

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horrible things. 
Extremely disrespectful. 

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Flirting with guys right in 
front of me and then telling him

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that she was married, all 
without her wedding ring on. 

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That kind of shit. 
That's me. 

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She doesn't respect me at all. 
Now in Mania, maybe she didn't, 

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maybe she did respect me and 
normally I don't know. 

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I don't think so. 
The last couple of years have 

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just whittled away because quite
frankly, I don't know about you,

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but when you go through so many 
ups and downs with people like 

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this and so much inconsistency, 
you lose disrespect for them. 

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You lose any kind of motivation 
to be romantic or to really take

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care of them because they 'cause
you so much pain and they pick 

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up on that. 
So that's somewhat normal. 

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We can't say they're abnormal 
because they get resentful too. 

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But you know when your partner 
yells and screams at you for 

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stupid stuff or put you in a 
three day, you know, no contact,

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you eventually get tired of this
stuff. 

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I mean it destroys your own self
because they don't want you 

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happy. 
They want you controlled so they

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know you won't leave. 
That's very prophetic, but it's 

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absolutely the truth. 
Understand what you're living 

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with. 
If you're a young person, 'cause

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I'm in my mid 60s. 
If you're a young person trying 

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to figure out bipolar, sorry, 
get out. 

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You will be miserable. 
And don't get me wrong, there's 

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many great marriages to bipolar 
people. 

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However, I'll tell you 
specifically what it takes. 

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The bipolar person has to be 
self aware. 

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They have to know they have a 
problem, they have to know that 

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they have to do things on a 
daily basis to get better, and 

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they have to know how to 
apologize and change their ways.

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If they don't, you are in for a 
horrible experience. 

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I'm so sorry, but it's the 
truth. 

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They will see your weakness as 
the ability for them to do 

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whatever they want. 
Like for the cheating or 

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emotional cheating. 
If you don't leave them when 

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they emotional cheat the first 
time they're in their minds, 

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they go oh that felt great. 
It was so valetating. 

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I didn't do anything. 
I didn't have sex with the 

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person, and I know I really hurt
my significant other, but 

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they're OK with it, so I can do 
it again. 

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That's the way they think. 
Sorry. 

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That is what your future is 
going to be. 

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You have to leave. 
You have to sit them down and 

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say if you ever do that crap 
again and you ever get off your 

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meds again, if you don't go to 
your psychiatrist as you're 

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supposed to, then I'm leaving 
and they're going to go. 

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In their mind. 
Yeah, that's what they say. 

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Yeah, whatever. 
But if it happens again and you 

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literally don't talk to them and
you walk out the door, that's 

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possible. 
But you got to stay away. 

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And just because you walk out 
doesn't mean they're going to 

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come back to you. 
That's not what I'm saying. 

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I'm saying for your own sanity, 
you better do these things. 

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It's rock solid on psychiatry 
and experience here, folks. 

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You have to be able to walk away
if you want to try to make it 

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work again. 
If you walk out, that doesn't 

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mean they're going to chase you,
but a lot of times they do. 

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But a lot of times they don't. 
That's why this thing's insane. 

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If they're not those things that
I talked about before, you have 

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to get out because the cheating 
will continue. 

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The emotional affairs are very 
exciting to them and they think 

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in their mind like mine did. 
Oh, I didn't have anything. 

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I we didn't do anything. 
Well, number one, I wasn't there

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for the three months she had an 
emotional affair with a guy at 

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the gym, him talking shit about 
his current wife to my wife. 

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She totally, totally 
disrespected me because when I 

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told her I was hurting 
emotionally because of this and 

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it was so difficult for me 
because she wouldn't give up 

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that relationship, she said, oh 
it's your problem, not mine. 

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A true partner in a relationship
does not want to hurt their 

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partner. 
That's just the truth. 

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These people can be very 
self-centered, very egotistical,

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very hyper sexual. 
At the same time you're setting 

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yourself up for diseases and for
heartbreak if you sit through 

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one of these things. 
I did. 

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The emotional affair was four 
years ago. 

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I tried to get away but I 
couldn't financially. 

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Then I finally could get away 
financially when she was openly 

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flirting with men in front of me
without a wedding ring on. 

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Grow up people, get you a good 
one. 

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These people can be wonderful 
partners, don't get me wrong, 

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but they must fulfill everything
I talked about. 

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If they don't you're, you're 
setting yourself for big 

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problems. 
Take care, love to everybody. 

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Bye.